


Come, all ye Fellowship of Nine

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon - Solves frequent reader complaint, Characters - New interpretation, Fellowship of the Ring, Humor, Plot - Can't stop reading, Plot - Fast moving, Plot - Good pacing, Plot - I reread often, Plot - Joy, Subjects - Legends/Myth/History, War of the Ring, Writing - Engaging style, Writing - Every word counts, Writing - Good use of humor, Writing - Mythic/Poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4212087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LoTR retold to a well-known festive Victorian tune.  My only excuse for this twisted little tale is that it's a response to the LoTR Holiday Carols Challenge...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come, all ye Fellowship of Nine

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Come all ye Fellowship of Nine,  
Let nothing you dismay:  
For Frodo took the Ruling Ring  
Though he knew not the way;  
To save us all from Sauron's power  
He cast it quite away,  
O tidings of comfort and joy,  
 _(Middle-earth's saved)_ ,  
O tidings of comfort and joy.

From Minas T. by way of Bree  
Mithrandir riding came,  
And unto Elrond's Council  
Brought tidings of the same;  
The Ring that Bilbo claimed he'd won  
From Gollum in some game  
Was the One that brings nor comfort nor joy  
 _(Just death and despair)_ ,  
Was the One that brings nor comfort nor joy.

"O woe is me", Lord Elrond cried,  
As darkness filled the room,  
( _Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul_  
Had plunged them all in gloom);  
"A Fellowship must take the thing  
And chuck it in Mount Doom;  
Hardly tidings of comfort or joy  
 _(Still, off you all go,)_  
Hardly tidings of comfort or joy."

So led by Strider they went South  
That fateful Yuletide day;  
The Hobbits very seldom lunched  
And shivered all the way;  
And only Bill the Pony munched  
Contentedly on hay;  
O tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(If only for Bill)_  
O tidings of comfort and joy.

They came to frozen Caradhras  
The Dimrill Stair to find,  
But could not take the Redhorn Pass  
Through tempest, storm and wind;  
Still, Legolas could walk on snow  
And cold he did not mind;  
Minor tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(Or just a smug git)_  
Minor tidings of comfort and joy.

The rivalry twixt Elf and Dwarf  
Did drive their comrades mad;  
For Dwarf thought Elf too full of self  
And Elf found Gimli sad;  
At last in fair Lothlórien  
A truce of sorts was had;  
O tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(Thank goodness for **that**...)_  
O tidings of comfort and joy.

At Parth Galen they got split up,  
"Quick, Merry!" Pip did cry;  
"We're going to have to run like fun,  
Leave Boromir to die;  
Oh no! We're being kidnapped by  
Those filthy Uruk-hai!  
Not tidings of comfort or joy  
 _(I want to go **home** )_  
Not tidings of comfort or joy."

"Fear not!" the Ent called Treebeard cried,  
"Hoom, hom! We'll put things right;  
The Ents will march to Isengard  
And give the Orcs a fright;  
Just watch us deal with Saruman,  
That smarmy wizard white!"  
O tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(And even **hoom, hom** )_  
O tidings of comfort and joy.

The Men of Rohan hot pursued  
To Helm's Deep riding came,  
And found both Elf and Dwarf engaged  
In quite a gory game;  
Cried Legolas, "Two dozen severed  
Orc-heads to my name!  
O tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(I'll beat that Dwarf yet,)_  
O tidings of comfort and joy!"

The ageing Steward, Denethor,  
Was mourning Boromir,  
And sad to find, had lost his mind  
From too much Palantír;  
So went and barbecued himself  
And nearly Faramir.  
Still, tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(Faramir's saved);_  
Still, tidings of comfort and joy.

They'd won the Field of Pelennor  
And yet there was no rest;  
For to the Black Gate straight did ride  
The Captains of the West;  
They must distract the Lidless Eye  
From its unwanted guest.  
No tidings of comfort or joy  
 _(They're all gonna die);_  
No tidings of comfort or joy.

But to the One sing praises,  
For Sam and Frodo they  
Just made it to the Cracks of Doom  
And threw the Ring away;  
Remember though 'twas Gollum who  
Did truly save the day!  
O tidings of comfort and joy  
 _(And nine fingers left)_  
O tidings of comfort and joy!


End file.
